Tuesday, June 26, 2012
An Artist's Fears
Blank. That is how I am feeling creatively at the moment. Tied with that, is fear. I'm feeling a lot of fear.
It seems I am in another round of self doubt and creative block. I've yet to find my style. My niche. There are so many options. So much you can do with fabric. Piece it. Collage it. Paint it. Distress it. Bleach it. Stamp it. The possibilities are expansive, and I have tried so many of them. I've still not committed to one (or even a few) of them.
I feel very confused right now, and I don't know where to go from here. Everyone always says to create for yourself, and not worry about what will sell. Right now, I suspect they are all liars that are just looking to reduce the competition they have for the art they create FOR others. (Okay, so I'm slightly cynical today.)
In all seriousness, most of my life has always been doing/saying things to make other people happy. To please them. Not upset them. I went to school for graphic design - the entire ideology is to create things that people will like. How do you move away from that? Am I really only making pieces I think others will like? I honestly feel as though I'm making things *I* like - and that is even scarier, because it's not working.
Rationally I realize that the deeper problem is fear.
Yesterday I shipped seven of my pieces off to The Yarn Gallery in Grand Rapids, MN. I met the store owner on a trip up there, she saw my website and asked if I would like to show some work there to try and sell. Busyness and fear (honestly, mostly busyness!) delayed the items getting there a month longer that I'd have liked.
It was a very uncomfortable process for me. Pricing them. Packaging them. Questioning the pricing. Sending it anyway. Now it is the waiting period. Will others like them? Will anyone buy them? Will the shop owner be appalled at the prices? Will she wonder, "Who does SHE think she is?"
This is precisely why I've never tried doing something like this before to be honest. I feel like no one will want to buy them anyways, so why bother to try and get them shown places. On top of, how do you approach places to do this? I was fortunate that a couple of friends introduced me to the owner at The Yarn Gallery.
Universe, if you're listening, I really need some guidance here! Where do I go from here?